Journey to the Unknown
The decision had been made. All three of us were going. My heroic escape had not only saved me from the plastic prison, it had saved my siblings too. Victory! Or so I thought… until the next challenge revealed itself.
Welcome to Mittens' Diary
I am Mittens.
I live with a human who means well but consistently makes poor decisions.
This is where I document their mistakes, my survival, and the many injustices I’ve endured - including vet visits, suspicious boxes with holes, and the ongoing threat of being “picked up.”
Inside, you’ll find cat stories told from my perspective.
Tales of betrayal, revenge, zoomies, and mild property damage.
Observations about life, dignity, and why no good thing has ever come from the words “just a quick check-up.”
There will be chaos. There will be revenge. There may be property damage.
New here?
Start with these tales of betrayal
The Day It All Went Downhill
The day I realised humans would ruin my perfectly sensible life, and that things would never be normal again.
Toilet Paper Massacre
An innocent household item, a moment of boredom, and the completely justified destruction that followed.
A detailed investigation into why leaving toilet paper unattended is a terrible idea.
The Box of Betrayal
A box appeared, and like any sensible cat, I trusted it immediately. That trust was foolish, because the box was not a gift - it was a lie, a trap, and the opening move in a carefully planned act of human betrayal.
Clash of the Kittens
Breakfast was supposed to be peaceful, but in our house it quickly became an all-out war of bowls, fur and spilled gravy — watched by yours truly with amused disdain.
Latest stories
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The Beginning of Forever
This morning, I awoke with a certain… gravitas. Today was no ordinary day, I could feel it in my whiskers. Something was coming. A shift in the wind, a change in the air, the promise of destiny. Naturally, I prepared by stretching dramatically, yawning loudly, and then imagining the glorious home that surely awaited me.
The Great Laundry Ambush
Today began with the smell of freshly folded laundry. Karen had been bustling about, humming to herself as she carried a basket piled high with clothes - warm, clean, and, most importantly, undefended. She set it down in the middle of the room, clearly unaware of the tactical error she had just made. To her, it was laundry. To us, it was a fortress begging to be conquered.
An Epic Climb
It was a peaceful morning - me, lounging like the royalty I am, saving my strength for important matters such as “second breakfast.” And then my sister, in her infinite wisdom, decided to turn the living room into a circus tent.
The Red Dot
The morning begins the same way it always does, with my sister turning into a hurricane. She’s bouncing off the furniture, ambushing shadows, and attempting parkour stunts that would make even the most reckless squirrel shake its head in pity. I, of course, remain dignified. Or at least I try to, while she ricochets off my side for the third time before breakfast.
Toilet Paper Massacre
Todays breakfast was served and unlike the recent chaos of sliding bowls, flying whiskers, and Karen stepping in the wet slop, today we ate like proper little felines. Each bowl remained (mostly) in its rightful place, and I even managed to enjoy my meal without my sister trying to steal bites from the corner. A rare victory in itself.